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Writer's pictureAshley Michelle

Coaching: Using Fear to Fulfill Your Goals

Updated: Jul 25

“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.” - Nelson Mandela


Photo via Danka & Peter, Unsplash


Deep breath in. Deep breath out. I've had to tell myself these words more and more frequently as I set myself on my true path and ditched a toxic workplace. Never before in my life have I done such a terrifying thing- and never before in my life have I dedicated so much time and energy towards my true career goal. Never before have I felt like I was in completely new territory, pursuing my purpose.


Some say that it is when you're out of your comfort zone and feeling fear that you should know that you're doing the right thing and reaching for your highest potential. I believe them. Growth is not easy or comfortable; recall those growing pains when you were a child. Growth is messy, and honestly, it's scary. However, there are ways that we can center ourselves, so here are a couple of exercises and a challenge.



 

How can these exercises help me?


When you're feeling overwhelmed/afraid, it's hard to determine if you're making the right choice or not. How can you know? All you can feel is fear or worry or anxiety! Let's do these exercises together and get some mastery over those feelings and get the clarity we need.


These will help us choose our next step(s) and decide if we can keep our goal or adjust it a little. There's nothing wrong with changing our goals, as long as it's still what we really want! This week is pretty straightforward, featuring just these key exercises and a challenge. (Next week is a deep dive into why we need breaks, as well as how and where to take them.)



Becoming the Bravest Version of Yourself Exercise


Set a timer for 10-15 minutes and free-write the answers to these questions. There are no wrong answers, and no answer is "too silly" or "too small." All of your goals matter.

  1. If you were the bravest version of yourself, what would you do?

  2. What's stopping you from doing that right now?

  3. What is one thing that you can do to move towards that goal?

  4. What can you do to make it possible to take that step forward?


Photo via Unsplash, Thomas Schweighofer


Fear-setting Exercise


Set a timer for 20-30 minutes and free-write the answers to these questions to gain clarity. You can start with three columns labeled "Define," "Prevent," and "Repair," or you can just work chronologically (there's not a wrong way to do it). This exercise helps so much and really gave me a boost so that I could take my next step forward.

  1. Define your fears: write down the worst things you can think of happening if you go through with what you want- as many as you can think of, no matter how small they may seem. If it's bothering you, it's important.

  2. Prevent your fears: write down how you can lessen the impact of those (or prevent entirely) negative outcomes. What can you do to make it better or not happen at all?

  3. Repair your fears: write down how you can fix it or who you can ask for help to fix these negative outcomes.

  4. What are the benefits of going ahead with it?

  5. What would your life look like in six months, a year, maybe as far as three years ahead if you don't take this step forward? What will you see, hear, and feel if you don't reach for and achieve that goal? Be as specific as you can.


Photo via Unsplash, Giorgio Trevato


This Week's Challenge


We hold ourselves back and get in our own way in so many things, but no longer! Do the thing that scares you this week! You can do it!


You can find these tidbits in video format on TikTok (@serenevibesreiki) and YouTube. The blog will update every Saturday and is about a week behind the live theme, so feel free to stay up-to-date through one of the video avenues! There's nothing wrong with preferring to read instead of watch, though, and I think it's helpful to be able to see it instead of having to listen.


Still stuck? Feel free to schedule a session with me to gain further clarity or enroll in a program to help you transform your life.

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